Who’s the chick with all the spiders?
– last words of unidentified barbarian

Are you an old school gamer?

We don’t mean, “Did you play 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons?”* We mean, “Did you play back when Elf and Dwarf were character classes?”

If so, we have the shirt for you, with artwork inspired by the Queen of the Spiders supermodule** and the inevitable gap that can occur between veteran gamers (who immediately recognize Lolth, the goddess of the dark elves) and their less-experienced counterparts … perhaps someone’s little brother who just joined the campaign.

We’ve all been on both sides of that exchange. We all had that moment where we actually said, “All dice have six sides, don’t they?” We’ve all had the “facepalm” moments when new players join the fun, and we wouldn’t trade those memories for the world.

We are old-school gamers, and this shirt is our proof.

* True story: At GenCon, while showing someone this shirt, I asked, “What editions of D&D have you played?”

He answered, “Both.” (Really.)

** Queen of the Spiders is actually a sequence of seven adventures over three story arcs: G1 - Steading of the Hill Giant Chief, G2 - Glacial Rift of the Frost Giant Jarl, G3 - Hall of the Fire Giant King, D1 - Descent into the Depths of the Earth, D2 - Shrine of the Kuo-Toa, D3 - Vault of the Drow, and Q1 - Queen of the Demonweb Pits.

It is, without doubt, among the most iconic and recognizable module series from old-school gaming, joining the ranks of such famous adventures as Temple of Elemental Evil. Go ask an old-school gamer about the time they played one of these modules, and get ready for an overly enthusiastic synopsis, easily the equivalent of asking a Baby Boomer about Woodstock.